True stories

Wes hates tummy time. True story. I can't stand it. I make him do it maybe three times a week and can only take the desperate screaming for about 2 1/2 minutes. I think he'll be fine. He holds his head up no problem.
Owen still refuses to poop in the potty. True story #2. There is nothing I can do about this. There is nothing Josh can do about this. No amount of laxatives, enemas, discipline, positive reinforcement, rewards or star wars toys withholding can inspire him to consistently poop somewhere other than a diaper. I need therapy. Owen might need therapy. I KNOW Josh needs therapy over this. We give. I imagine someday (hopefully before he is eight) he will sit on the toilet and POOP. Voila. Jesus give us strength.
January is kind of a bleak month. True story #3. There just isn't a lot of fun things about January. Except Josh's birthday. We took the night off from being parents (I mean, we took about 5 hours off from being parents) last Friday night and had massages, went for dinner, and ended up at....Babies R Us. Something is wrong with this. :-) Oh well. Such is our lives. Happy 31 babe. You don't seem a day over 18 to me. hehe :-)
I turn 30 next month. True story #4. I'm trying to be happy about it. 30 is a frightening number to me. It just seems weird. Like...grown up. I don't know. I can't do anything about it....so I'm doing the best I can to make myself feel better. I'm doing The Shred with Jillian. I'm getting my toes and hair done. And I'm going to force myself to concentrate on the wonderful life I have had these last 30 years and NOT the fact that in ten years I will be 40. In general, I am a positive person. I'm just having a hard time with the number 30. And it is, after all, only a number
Not working is weird. True story #5. I don't like or dislike it. Its just weird. I'm certainly busy enough with the boys. Not bored at all. Sometimes I miss being in the office, chatting with my co-workers about non-important things, but mostly I'm thankful that I don't have to stress about getting to work and raising two children. Staying home with them full time is for them...not for me. Its about them. Someday they won't need me like they need me now, and I need to remember that. (and try not to cry about it :-))

Of note:

1. Wes is sick. I took him to the pediatrician on Monday and his right ear was infected, he had a mild case of bronchitis and both of his eyes were infected. What in the world. I promise I'm breastfeeding. Really. I am. He has been on amoxicilan (sp) since Monday and seems to be much better. Also, with clothes on, he weighs 13 lbs 10 oz. This child is a chunky monkey. I love it.

2. We've been talking about putting our house on the market. We THINK we will wait till next summer though. Like summer 2012. Weirdly, I love our small little home. I do not love our neighborhood, but I do love our home. Its cozy. Its where we brought both of the boys home and it just feels right. But, we are out growing it and we need to think about where we want to send the kiddos to school. So, we are casually looking. We will probably go north (like Carmel, because I don't think we can live in Zionsville for less than $400,000) because we would like to be closer to church.

3. Unless something weird happens, Owen is going to pre-school at Traders Point Academy in the fall. We've signed him up for Monday-Wednesday-Friday for 9-12. I'm excited for him. I think he'll love school . We are waiting on a final acceptance letter. We are pretty confident that he will get in. :-) To date, his record is pretty clean :-)

That's all for now! I'll be back in February with something to chat about probably. Maybe some cute Valentine pictures to put up or something! Hope the remainder of your January is happy...and filled with less snow..you know...less snow than we have now :-)

Edited to add: And just to make me look like a complete fool, Owen came home from Cubbies tonight and pooped in the potty. Whatever. :)

My boys

Oh sweet baby boys. These days don't last. So I'll spend some extra time smelling your sweet baby head and listen to you tell me about your favorite part in Star Wars one more time. I'll answer why and I'll explain a concept over and over again. I'll rock and bounce and swing you back and forth in my tired arms...because you won't be mine to hold forever. Every time I'm tempted to be tired or overwhelmed (or cranky), I tell myself again...these days don't last. And still, I won't get it right every time. I'll get crabby, I'll let being tired/busy/consumed be more important than these sweet moments. But know, oh please know that you are my heart. You are everything I ever wanted. And boy(s), :-) Do I ever love you.

"Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you"

Life, or something like it :-)

Isn't that the name of a show? Or a book? Or something?

Anyways. :-) We are all doing pretty well. Just cruising along....me trying to shower daily, keep my children clean, cook meals (clean up meals) and maybe (MAYBE) put away some laundry.

Owen is busy as ever. Three year olds have lots and lots of energy. Lots. Really. :-) He's a great kid. He is really into Star Wars (thanks dad) and cleaned up in that department at Christmas! We've been working on a few small school things at home. Writing his name, learning his birthday and mom's cell phone number (since we don't have a home phone....weird. What kind of world are we living in anyways!?) and being more consistent on working on Cubbies stuff (he has a bible verse to learn every week and an activity in his workbook to do).

Some interesting things he has asked me lately:

- Where does God live? (A. Heaven); Isn't God with me though? (A. YES! satisfied him for now...not ready to explain omnipresence :-))

- How did Wes get out of your belly (A. Mommies have a special place where babies come out of); Where is that place (A. On mommy's body below her tummy....as I pray for this answer to satisfy him....and IT DOES! Thank you Jesus :-))

- What does "kill" mean? (A. long long pause from me.....um.....it means to hurt someone really bad so they aren't alive anymore. And when you aren't alive anymore it means you died. That's why its not nice to say "I killed you!".) What does "died" mean? (A. It means that the person doesn't live on earth anymore and they can't talk or walk around anymore. Sometimes when people die they go to live in heaven. AHHHHH. I need a book that tells me how to answer all these questions!)

Wes is wonderful. He's really growing into a darling baby. He is sweet, he is happy (except when its dark in the car and he has spit his paci out. this situation is a recipe for serious unhappiness for Mr. Wes) He turned three months old yesterday and at his well baby check up (on 1.7) he weighed 12 lbs 9 ounces and was 26 inches long. His weight has tapered off to the 33% but he was 59% for height. Basically, he looks older than three months to me....but he isn't chunking out as much as he was right at the beginning of his life. He is still nursing every 2-3 hours during the day, but in general he sleeps all through the night...except every once in awhile when he decides that he needs a middle of the night snack :-) He still really, really loves me. Which I find adorable. He definitely has my heart. He likes to hold my hand when I'm nursing or just sitting with him...and really, he's much happier if I am within eye sight. He is in a pretty good pattern of eat, pee/poop, sleep, play during the day. We love him. A lot. I don't remember life without him. Also, he loves Owen. LOVES him. Completely gets excited when he comes into the room. Its great!

Josh is back at soccer. Kind of. He's coaching indoor two nights a week for club and I think games and tournaments will start in March. School seems to be going well for him and I think he really enjoyed his two weeks of Christmas break :-) Over break we got his office done...FINALLY....and he enjoys hanging out in his new leather lazy boy reading or napping.

And me...well, I'm trying really hard to build routine into our lives. Its still pretty difficult with nursing still taking up a lot of my time. My goal is to cook more, bake more and new things...not the same ole, same ole'. I'm also hoping to be consistent with spinning classes (still trying to line up a babysitter, ugh) to get into a book club and for my own devotions I'm enjoying getting into a new book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.

Again...pictures...they are on facebook. I know you can find me there. :-) No one reads this that doesn't also have facebook. Going to try and do a better job of blogging about my kiddos and keeping up with things here on blogspot. Its good for me to go back and remember what has happened. That's about it for now! Happy 2011!

Bullets-because its easier than writing paragraphs.

-Wes is nearly six weeks old. He is a good baby. He seems to be a little more fussy than his perfect brother was as an infant, but overall he is pretty easy and low maintenance.

- I have laundry coming out of my ears. I can't keep up. If I thought it was bad with when we were a family of three, I was kidding myself. Its insane. I have to come up with a schedule. I'll do that...soon. :-)

- I'm sick. Again. I have a terrible cold. The same one that I had right after Wes was born. I have no voice. It is super frustrating and super hard to take care of a three year old when you can't talk.

- I sleep. Some. Some days (nights) are better than others. I started putting Wes to bed in his crib about two weeks ago. I didn't do this with Owen until he was like three months old. I have no idea why. It makes a world of difference for me to sleep in my own bed without a baby in the room. I usually get up with him around 3 or 4 and then he goes back to sleep until 6 or 7. Usually. Sometimes it doesn't quite work this way. That's ok.

- Wes loves me. Actually he is obsessed with me. Its flattering and sweet and maybe its because he is breastfeeding and I bring the food...but I didn't experience this with Owen. Owen loved everyone. However, Wes's affections are reserved mostly for me. He starts to hyperventilate when I enter his presence :-) Its really sweet....and I continue to stand on my stance that there is no kind of love like the love of a boy for his mother. I am blessed.

-I'm watching the Pioneer Woman on the food network right now. I love her. I missing cooking and baking so much. I haven't done much lately...but I can't wait to get back at it. I have all these things I want to try for Thanksgiving and Christmas...but I have to get my laundry under control before I start baking non-essential foods. :-)

-Owen is doing great with Wes. He loves him. He is sweet to him. He isn't jealous and he isn't too rough. It was a great age difference for us.

-Wes is going to be a big boy. Or at least normal sized. This is also different from Owen. Owen didn't like to eat. Wes does. He is already 10 lbs , out of his newborn clothes (so sad) and into size one diapers. Sheesh.

-Josh is my life saver. He has stepped up to the plate big time. I'm still mostly responsible for the domestic duties, but he does a great job at helping out with Owen and doing the (occasional) chore for me. I don't know how single parents do it!

That's all for now :-) I'll post pictures soon!

Wesley's Birth Story-LONG!

Disclaimer:

This is a birth story :-) I will not write intensely personal details in this entry, but there are some terms like "dilated" and "effaced", etc that will be used...so if the idea of childbirth and the technicalities turn you off, don't read this! I've had several people ask me to write it out...so I'm just putting it on here and linking to it. It doesn't bother me to post it...but if it bothers you to read it...don't! :-) Okie dokie. Glad we have that settled!

So. I met with my OB (Dr. Ball) for my 40 week check up on Friday, Oct. 8. She checked me....and told me that nothing had changed from the week before...which was...I was 50 % effaced, but my cervix was still closed and high. Sigh. I was so sad. I was really, really hoping to be a little dilated. Just a smidgen! I wasn't. Dr. Ball wasn't optimistic. She wanted to schedule an induction date. She agreed that I could wait until 41 weeks until she officially evicted the little person in my belly, but she was more comfortable with 40.5 weeks. I reluctantly agreed and scheduled my induction date for Wednesday, Oct. 13.

I was sad. I knew from stories and experiences of other friends that I could be nothing one day and boom...in labor and completely progressing the next day...but I just didn't believe it was going to happen for me. I had started to have significant swelling in my hands and feet and I was beyond miserable. I had been in pain really for weeks. I'm just good at faking it. The end of this pregnancy was not joyful for me...sadly...and I wanted more than anything to go into labor like any normal person and BE DONE! I couldn't understand why my body wasn't groovin'!

Anyways. Friday evening....Josh came home from soccer and we all just stayed in. We had talked about going out to dinner...but decided to make hot dogs and mac and cheese and just stay in that night. Looking back...it was a pretty good decision. It was our last night as a family of three! :-) I was pretty irritable and tried a few..." things "to try and get things going....I had done them before, but I thought...what the heck. Didn't really feel like anything was working for me though!

Early Saturday morning around 1:00 AM I started having what I thought were contractions. I wasn't sure. They weren't contractions like I had felt before. They were low in my uterus and...honestly...kind of felt like gas. :-) I didn't have normal labor/contractions with Owen because I was induced and had an epidural...so I really wasn't sure what I was dealing with. Also, I mostly had back labor with Owen...so I was kind of clueless as to what real contractions would feel like. So...I dozed off and on between 1:30 and 5:30 AM. At 5:30 I woke up to my pain being more intense, stronger and closer together. I got out my cell phone, set up my stopwatch and tried to figure out what I was dealing with. I decided that my contractions were lasting around 45 seconds and were about 2-3 minutes apart at that time. I stayed in bed for awhile longer, then got up and walked around the house. Josh came to see what the heck I was doing and I explained that I wasn't sure if I was having contractions or....gas :-) He went back to bed (after all...this was the morning of his big sectional game!)

At 7:30 AM I called my OB office and had the switchboard page whomever was on call so I could to them. It happened to be Dr. Johnson...not my OB, but I like her probably a tad bit more than my OB because she is a little bit more open to natural childbirth/not inducing, etc. :-) I was happy that she was on call! I explained to her what was going on...she asked me a series of questions (like: how long was your first labor A. LONG!, etc!). She told me that I definitely needed to go in and to be checked. I sent Josh's parents a text....explaining that I wasn't sure what was going on with me...if it was labor or...false labor, I wasn't sure...but could they come and stay with Owen so I could go get it checked out :-) Josh's big game was at 10:00 and he had needed to leave to get down to school to meet his team around 7:30. I told him to go...that I would hate for him to miss his game if this wasn't real! So...he went! I was fine with it...REALLY! I promise! I called my mom and she agreed to come pick me up and take me to the hospital. I cleaned up around the house a little bit and paid a few bills :-) My mom arrived around 8:30 and I got to Clarian North around 9:00. I got hooked up in labor in delivery and was finally told (after being checked and on the monitor for what seemed like forever!) that I WAS in real labor and that I was dilated three centimeters and 80 % effaced! I was staying to have a baby TODAY on my actual due date and on the day of Josh's big sectional game(s)! Craziness!

So, I called Josh...told him that we were probably having a baby TODAY...but...I was only at 3 cm. I told him to stay for his game (against Ben Davis) and then head to the hospital :-) My mom had to leave to get to a breast cancer awareness banquet :-)...and really...really...believe me when I say that I was FINE with being alone. I was in the zone. :-) I didn't really want to talk to anyone! I walked for about an hour...then came back to my room and a nurse met me to set me up with a port (in case I emergently needed an IV). My nurse was awesome. She walked in and said something like..."hey, I hear you are trying to do natural childbirth. That's great. You just let me know if you need anything or something changes and we'll go from there, otherwise you won't hear anything from me". Score. That is EXACTLY what I wanted. She brought me in a birthing ball and I sat and rocked around on that for awhile. She told me that it would really help the baby drop and open up my pelvis. At this point...I was about 4 cm and my contractions were hard. They were about 45 seconds apart. I switched to the rocker for an our and rocked. During every contraction I would lean forward...drink water...and BREATHE/MOAN really hard. I was kind of animalistic. Lovely! Still...it was nice and quiet in my room and I felt like I was in the zone :-) It quickly got harder. My contractions started coming faster...and I decided that I needed a little help. I called my nurse and asked her to remind me what would happen if I tried nubain ( I had done it with Owen and loved it...but mostly because things were so long and drawn out that it put me to sleep!) She told me that it would take the edge off, but I would still be able to be mobile. Good. That's what I wanted to hear. So, she put the nubain in my port and I was zombie like immediately :-) It didn't take away the pain. The only thing it really did was make my down time in between contractions longer. I didn't feel the beginning of the contraction...only the middle to the end. The nubain worked for about 2 hours. Josh arrived in that time span...I had sent him a text and told him that things were really hard for me, and that I likely wouldn't be able to talk to him very well especially during a contraction. He was great. He just came in and sat...watched football...and ate a hamburger. My OB came around 3:30ish and broke my water...I was at 5-6 cm. She told me that my baby was still high and that I really ought to think about an epidural to get me to relax during contractions or she could give me pitocin. UM. NO. :-) I told her as much and she left me alone. My nurse said I did the right thing. Ya. Thanks!!

SO ...after my water was broken, it got bad. The pain during my contractions was really, really terrible...at one point I know I was crying. I don't think I ever yelled or screamed (I was doing all of that in my head)...but I was holding Josh's hand and moaning/crying...I don't know. It was really hard. About an hour after my water had been broken I thought that I had reached my breaking point. There was SO MUCH pressure and I was really outside of my body with pain at that point. I called my nurse and had decided in my head that if I wasn't close then I was done and ready for the epidural. Lucky for me...she checked me and I was at NINE! YAY! She told me that she thought I would be ready to push in about 5-10 minutes so she called my OB and wanted me to BLOW THROUGH the next couple of contractions without pushing even though I was pretty much complete. Let me tell ya...that was about impossible. At the end I didn't really have any control. My OB arrived about 10-15 later and I was so ready to push. The magical part of not having an epidural is that I didn't need anyone to tell me it was time to push...I just knew it. My body took over. It was insane...and painful and intense and kind of awful....but I pushed through three contractions...and HE WAS HERE! Praise Jesus! As soon as he was born, the pain was gone and everything was fine. The NICU had to come down because when my OB broke my water they found merconium (meaning Wes had had a bowel movement)....and the NICU team had to check him out to make sure he was ok...so that took awhile....but Josh went over to be with him while my OB cleaned me up ;-) With Owen, I had terrible tearing and an episiotomy. This time, my OB only had to cut a little old scar tissue so it really wasn't bad at all. She told me that because I hadn't had anesthesia that the stitches would be really painful...but they weren't. Nothing compared to those crazy contractions! :-)

Anyways, Wes was fine...they brought him to me and I about died when I saw him and saw how much he looked like Owen....he nursed WONDERFULLY right away...and then...I GOT UP and went to the bathroom! AMAZING!

So. In a really long nutshell...that is the birth story of Wesley Jameson Brown. We are all doing well and I would elaborate and post more pictures...but its time for my little guy to eat! Hope those of you who wanted to read all about this really enjoyed it...and for those who didn't want to know me this well...didn't read and are still really happy! Ha ha!

I'll be back with more pictures soon :-)

Wesley Jameson Brown

Born 10.9.10 at 4:56 pm

7 lbs 10 oz

20 inches long

Gorgeous...looks just like his big brother.

We are all doing well.....somehow I avoided induction by the skin of my teeth and made it through the birth without an epidural (it was crazy hard and I almost caved at 9 cm....but then all the sudden.... I didn't! Whoa! No judgement on the Mama's that get the epidural though....hands down the hardest thing I've ever done!)

More later!