Thankful

I realize this is a post-Thanksgiving post, but that's ok.

We had a nice Thanksgiving. We celebrated with Josh's family on Thursday at Caleb and Heather's home and with my family on Saturday at my mom and dad's. It was very low key. I did a little cooking. (homemade rolls, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and pumpkin bars) Which I love :) I got to see my brother, and meet his lovely new girlfriend. We took the boys downtown to see the lighting of the Christmas tree, which was fun...kind of...but mostly chaotic and paranoia inducing because of the large crowds and small children who eventually became overwhelmed by the crowds. Oh well. Its all part of the experience! :)

I'm tempted to be thankful for the same things that I'm always thankful for. And I am. For my children, my husband, for provision, for health, for family and friends that make my life so full. I'm thankful for specific things like...an able and generous father who loaned me an extra car when my ENGINE died in our Saturn Vue. WHAT?! I'm thankful for a generous engineer friend who will be able to fix said engine after the Holiday's at a fraction of the price it was going to cost us to do ourselves (well, not ourselves...but at a shop..you know). I'm thankful that we have generous family who are helping us through this transition time.....and I'm thankful that we have an accepted offer on a lovely older home in Brownsburg that we expect to close on at the end of December! Yay! (more details to come later...we are pending inspection and I don't want to celebrate too early...but we are pretty confident! :) Yep, I'm pretty grateful that when I look at my life...barring a few complications and setbacks along the way, God has pretty much given me everything I have ever hoped for....even if it hasn't come packaged in just the way I had thought it should or would!

But ya know what else? I'm pretty darn thankful that God is doing a huge work in my life and heart right now. I'm humbled and grateful for the continuing work of the Holy Spirit in my life. Realizing that mercy and grace and the conviction of the Holy Spirit is big gift from my Father...I look forward with great expectation to see what God is going to do in my life, in the life of my husband and my boys.

There has been this theme that God has brought me to lately of "everything is GRACE". Yes, Ive read that outrageously popular "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp, but even outside of that...via church, small groups, bible study, personal devotion...I've come to a weird but precious place in my life. I feel a big shift washing over my life from what I used to value....to what I am now seeing is truly valuable. Like, our house. We choose...somewhat weirdly BUT happily to buy a home that is priced 100k less than what we felt comfortable buying. Our home is old and outdated. And ya know, while I look forward to putting new things into that house and making it "better" I care SO MUCH less about it than I ever thought I would. Our cabinets are nasty. The laundry CLOSET is in the KITCHEN! Guess what?! I don't care! ( ok, maybe I care about 5%, but really..what's 5%?! :)) It doesn't matter! You know what IS great? I HAVE cabinets! I HAVE a washer and dryer! Its wonderful! :)

I'm starting to naturally look past the surface and find blessing in everything. This is huge in my life! Even things that don't seem great. Who am I to know the mind of God? If I can see my life through the lens and filter that "everything is grace" then even hard stuff can be joyful. I believe that even the "bad" stuff is God's grace in my life. Without it....how would I know that I needed a Savior? His grace and mercy in NOT giving me everything I think I want/need to make my life great...is for my sanctification...and I'm starting to embrace it. My response to his direction in my life is the only way I have to honor Him. Oh I want to do it well. I need eyes to see and ears to hear...I pray this for you too. Whoever still stumbles upon my blog from time to time, may God be gracious and kind to you...to give you eyes to see and ears to hear...that which is truly important and will count for Jesus and his kingdom. Its so tempting to take the easy road, to live for ourselves, for our comfort...to make ourselves our own God...but its so very dissatisfying.

So that's it. I'm thankful. And I'm hopeful that I can live this life well and do something that will make a difference for Jesus. I'm hopeful that I can teach my boys what it means to love others and to have a generous heart. Thanks Jesus for not giving me everything I think I want and need all the time, every time. I'm afraid it would make me a pretty nasty and ungrateful person!

‎"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity"

-Hillsong