Rheumatoid Arthritis and Me :)

I wanted to write a quick (I think it will be quick) post to update so many of you who have worried for me, prayed for me, and honestly acted on my behalf while I've been so sick with my RA.
I'm writing today because I realized that I've been able to get out of bed every day this week without tears.  This makes me tearful in and of itself.
A quick background: I was diagnosed with JRA (Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis) as a small child. My dad thought I had broken my arm around the age of two, and after a series of tests, Drs. determined that I had JRA. I was moderately-severely sick as a child. I wore splints, did physical therapy. I believe the Drs. told my parents that I would live my life in a wheel chair. This never happened. I began a regimented treatment of baby aspirin and gold injections....avoiding other series medications such as methotrexate. I thrived under this treatment and while I was never an athletic kid, I did ok for myself. I danced (ballet), took piano, swam, and overall lived normally. My parents went over and beyond to make sure I received excellent treatment....traveling to Cincinnati and paying out of pocket when my Pediatric Rheumatologist moved from Riley to Cincinnati and out of our insurance coverage. It looked like by puberty I had all but outgrown this thing. Gold injections were discontinued and I remained on naproxen for a few years more, but eventually that became a thing that I took PRN (as needed :)) I married, I bore children....all without much event or notice of what I thought had become a distant memory. I do remember having a flare here and there, but in general it was nothing that couldn't be overcome with a few days of aleeve and ...honestly time.
This past year, November 2011...I started having more consistent pain. I would wake up every other day with a new pain. Still it would subside within a few days, but something new would surface in the next few days. I made an appointment to see my current rheumatologist (which I had just established recently for "just in case" :)). He started me on an anti-inflammatory called meloxicam which honestly, I didn't think helped at all. He suggested a round of prednisone (a steroid that makes me bat CRAZY and I had stated at one point that I would rather die than take :)), I declined and decided to "push through". Well, there was no pushing through to be had. After struggling for days at a time with little to no relief from pain in between....I started to become afraid. Afraid that this was it for me....the disease has come back and I was in trouble. We had just bought a two story house. I had two young kids (one a little crazy :)) to care for...and I was struggling doing that. My lowest moment came when I literally had to crawl from my bed to the bathroom one morning....this was to be followed by an incident where I literally could not dress my child for school. Owen needed help getting his socks on...and I could. not. do. it. Needless to say there were lots of tears. I went back to my rheumatologist and pathetically admitted that I was "not doing well". We decided together that I needed to get serious and think about long term drugs like plaquenil, methotrexate and a round of prednisone. With a lot of sadness (seriously), I agreed. My walking had become bad, I was honestly suffering going up and down the stairs, and changing Wesley's diaper often involved tears because my hands were so stiff and swollen. Something had to change. And time, aleeve and "pushing through" wasn't working.
At one point, during a low moment, Josh looked at me and asked me how we were going to get through this. He had already taken a day off of work to help me and I was worried that was going to need more help. He can't exactly quit his job! I thought for a long time and said...."I don't know. I think the answer is that we are going to have to believe that God is going to intervene...and I'm going to have to ask for help!" I'd like to tell you that God has, and I have! I've never been a big one for being helpless and having people do things for me that I can do myself...but I had to consider the situation. There were things I couldn't do for myself. People were starting to notice this and offering me help....I needed to take it. Probably my two biggest saviors have come in the form of my own mother and my mother in law, who have come over ever Monday, Wednesday and Friday to get Owen ready for school and help me through my morning when I'm in the most pain. I could not have gotten through this without them. Then, there are my dear, dear small group friends and other close friends who have grocery shopped for me, folded my laundry, brought meals for my family and just come to be with me on bad days when having extra hands was helpful. The help has been irreplaceable and I will never forget how kind you all have been to me.
I sit here today, typing this out feeling better than I have in weeks. I'm cautiously optimistic about the fact that I am turning the corner. I will forever be grateful that this disease that I battle is not fatal...I do not have cancer, this will not kill me. But, I've developed a new appreciation for the fact that living in pain in incredibly terrible, debilitating and miserable. I'm grateful for each new day that God gives me that isn't filled with tears and an inability to move well.
So this turned out not to be very short, but I wanted to give you who have asked a comprehensive look at what's been going on .... and a small chance to thank those who have helped me. Specifically, my Momma, my dear mother-in-law, Anita, Candice, Jodi, Anna, Amy, Jen....you guys have been the front runners in getting me through. I can't forget my husband who has rubbed sore joints after long days of school and soccer, changed more diapers than he ever thought possible, and bravely watched me suffer without knowing much of what to do. Thank you all for loving me more than I ever knew was possible...with your help I'm getting better every day.

The end :)

Easter 2012

I know I never really blogged Christmas pictures, but these seemed so fun and bright and cheery :) We had a nice Easter. Love my sweet little family!

Wesley-18 months

We went to see Dr. Pedersen for a well-child visit on March 31, 2012. Here are his stats from that visit:

Weight: 22 lbs, 11 oz (33%)

Height: 33 1/2 inches (90 %)

Head: 46 cm (17 %)

I was kind of surprised at where those numbers for weight and height put him on the charts. I honestly thought he would have been lower on the charts for height and higher for weight. He seems short and stocky to me.....who knows.

Wes is crazy. I've mentioned that, I realize. He seems to behave better for Josh, and gives me the brunt of his wrath....and still showers me with sweetness and love fairly often. I'll talk about the negative first and end with the positive.

He has started-biting, head-butting and hitting when he doesn't get his way. I have, unfortunately been hit several times in the face by him when I have told him "no" and I've also been bitten a few times on my shoulder when he has reacted angrily to a situation. He has bitten Owen once. :( Figuring out the best way to handle his outbursts is still a bit of a problem. We are trying :) Pray for us. (and Wes! Clearly a sinner who needs grace! ha!)

Positive--he has a for sure sweet side. Still likes to snuggle with me before bed and sing songs, and his favorite book is "five little monkey's jumping on the bed" to which he will bang his head with his hand and shake his finger when the Dr. says "no more monkey's jumping on the bed!". He will often pass out multiple, open mouthed kisses when we snuggle before bed...and still loves his blanky and light-up seahorse to snuggle with in bed.

I think we are at the brink of his language explosion. He is busting out new words every day. A few that come to mind are:

"uh-oh"

"car"

"tree"

"cracker"

"Ooooooo" (for Owen)

"cheese" (to take a picture)

there are more...and he's clearly trying daily to communicate more by mimicking us.

He loves to be outside. He loves to do anything that he big brother does. He LOVES his dad! He loves chicken nuggets, milk and raisins.

He is my fireball. I try not to get nervous for what is in store for us in terms of his temper...but I'm HOPING that with age will come some calmness and the ability to reason with him a bit more :) We'll see.

Regardless of any hard time, any frustrating moments...we love you Wesley J! You are fun and spirit and we are so glad you belong to us!

Summer came early to Indiana

It has been in the eighties all week this week...craziness. I'm a girl who appreciates the seasons and honestly I'm feeling a bit gipped. I know I shouldn't really complain, but geez. My kids didn't even get to build a snow man this year...and now we are skipping spring and going right to summer? I'm ill-prepapared. I don't have my summer tote unpacked, and I have yet to get a pedicure. My toes aren't ready. Seeing as how I start counting down the days to fall after about oh...July 4th, I'm not really sure how this extended summer season is going to work out for me. I'm one of the weird ones, I get that.

The children are happy so that's the important thing. Owen and Wes have spent every day outside doing something. Chasing each other, picking up sticks, we've gone on walks, met lots of our neighbors, even sat on the front porch at night to look at the stars. Summertime weather does have its perks, but I wasn't really ready to turn on the AC in March. ( I honestly also have my doubts that its really going to get any cooler!)

Owen has gotten so tall. His gangly little legs are so much ganglier in shorts. We had to make an emergency run to Old Navy to grab some properly fitting warm weather attire.

On the flip side, Wes seems awfully short :) I had him in some 18 month shorts and they were basically pants. Wes goes in for his late 15 month check up next week so I'll have to hop on with some stats. He seems stocky but short. We'll see where he is on the charts. I'm also wondering if they have a means as to measure craziness...because, wow. Temper, temper. :)

When I look back at my life, I will sadly recognize this period from Jan 2012-March 2012 as the dark period of no pictures. Meaning, I have really took none. NONE. I know. Bad, bad, bad. I may have snapped a few here and there with my iPhone, but nothing of significance. Josh has left the camera downstairs for me now so I'm trying to get inspired to take some new pictures.

I am recovering from strep throat....I don't really think I've ever been so sick. It was terrible. Penicillin is truly bringing me back from the dead and I can now at least function again. I spent two days in near delirium. Not caring how much food had been spilled on the floor or how gummy the countertops had gotten. Josh was in charge and I know for dads to be in charge, I can't expect what I get done every day to get done by him. I'm trying to make up for lost time. The laundry is a desperate situation (its almost always bordering on desperate anyways! :))

This is the calm before the storm in relation to spring soccer. Josh had no practice this week at all....but next week starts outdoor practice...meaning, practice...every day except Friday :( Games start in full force after Spring Break and its a six-week whirlwind of craziness for Josh.....and I will be on my own with the kids for a bit. I'm trying to gear up for it!

That's all for now. Just a little update! House projects have largely been on hold for, but I do hope to do some painting over spring break. We'll see how game Josh is :) Happy Summer everyone!

My Kids Do/Say Funny Stuff Every Day

But I'm not put together enough to get on here every day (or even every other day, apparently) to write it down.

Yesterday, Owen got in the car after I picked him up from school and promptly said "Mom, I'd like to talk about Star Wars if you don't mind" :)

He also told me yesterday that when he got home he was going to change his clothes because that's what dad does. I said, "You and daddy are buddies, aren't you?" He said..."ya, we are. Except I don't know why he spanked me two times" :) I said, "Well buddy, if daddy spanked you its because you were being disobedient." Owen, "Ya, I guess you must be right mom."

And Wes....well, Wes is currently playing with my handheld dust buster and beating on it with a wooden ladle. I should probably go.

Fun Stuff my kids do Day Two(ish)

Ok, I didn't get on here yesterday. But, I can remember yesterday. There were a few cute moments :)

Owen:

Wanted to count to 100 on the way to school...he does well except he has trouble making the turns from 19-20, 29-30, 39-40...you get the idea. At one point we were well into the eighties and he reverted back to the thirties...so...you know, but its important that we keep trying. :) (Funny enough, his teacher has commented on both evaluations-he's had two so far this year-that his strong suit is definitely language while he seems not interested/weak in math. I think its really early on in his life to determine anything...but we'll keep our fingers crossed that he inherits more of his father's math skills than his mother's :))

Is beyond excited to attend his friend at school-Qwentin's-birthday party on Friday. He's been x-ing off the days on his calendar in anticipation. Each day he wakes up asking if it's Qwentin's party day yet.

Currently dislikes Cubbies because the teachers don't let them sit on the alphabet mats. (random)

Declared that he would be skipping naps as an adult so that he could go to a job to pay for a house that he would have when he was older....in which he would live in with Audrey. From what I can gather, Audrey is his best pal at school. He talks about other boys some, but Audrey is actually a good friend. She helps him with his coat, zips up his backpack from time to time...lets him go first in games. I like Audrey. We may need to have her over for dinner :) He then changed tracks quickly and confessed that he wasn't exactly sure that Audrey was who he wanted to marry after all. He had to think about it. I told him he had plenty of time. He agreed. :)

Wesley:

Is using "uh-oh" in appropriate situations. He dropped (threw? I'm not sure) a toy on the floor the other day and exclaimed "oh-uh" rather traumatically. Its super cute.

Is really interested in carrying around a ziploc bag with his food in it.

Started a new thing yesterday of being obsessed with emptying out my bottom drawer in the kitchen which contains...freezer bags, garbage bags, ziplocs. Uh. ya. fun.

Is becoming quite the open mouthed kisser :)

Fun Stuff my kids Say Day 1

I know I have all of this backlogged blogging I need to get to. To say that we have slacked on extras in life is a understatement. We realized that we haven't really taken any pictures of the kids since Christmas. Not acceptable. Moving into a new house and getting some projects done and just breathing again in our own space has been the priority. :)

But I'm inspired to keep track of some of the fun things going on in our lives too. My kids say/do hysterical things on a daily basis. I need to remember them and keep track of them better. So, here we go.

Owen:

After fighting me over dinner for about 20 minutes I finally had to pull out the "you have five minutes to start eating your dinner or..".(something will happen...privilege taken away...I can't remember what exactly. This provoked him to start eating. A few minutes into eating, he looks up and says "Mom, you know, I'm really starting to like this stuff!" (go figure!)

Owen was running around playing guns with Josh tonight and all of the sudden he slid over to me and grabbed my leg and said "Mom, I just needed a hug break" :)

Told me he was praying for me to feel better while I was getting him ready this morning :)

Wesley:

Loves to pat my mouth while I'm talking to make me sound like an Indian

Started saying the word "car" today (sounds more like "ca")

Randomly snuggled me without it being nap time or bedtime today...a rare occurrence I assure you!

Will stomp his foot when he is angry about something OR when Josh turns on the Kinect to play a game :)